this just doesn't need anything added to it. the torture-device-like image alone pretty much sums it up. but, i will admit to letting a little scream slip when i saw this gif.

a george foreman grill for your abs

it's comforting to know that women aren't the only ones to fall victim to their body images (or lack thereof). but the ab-hancer makes me want to either grill some chicken on his stomach or cool my cake on his tummy rack. what it doesn't make me want to do is swoon over him...but, the boxers and the remote definitely helps increase his sexy.

you gotta keep 'em separated

my boobs like to fight with each other at night. so they can't touch each other when i go to sleep or else i would never get any rest. but, they also like to live on the wild side, so i prefer to use one of those bristly roller hair brushes to segregate my girls, as opposed to a weird dildoey-looking thing.

mike rowe.

cat sack (katsak?)

enough said.

excuse me, your groove is not very smoove.

just another in a long line of items that make women feel uncomfortable about their anatomy comes the "smoove groove." it surely (?) will prevent the dreaded camel toe, but will it do anything for your hungry butt?

put a rose on it

maybe it's due to the fact that i seem to deal with an awful lot of poop and i have become immune to my dogs' business end. maybe i just don't want to humiliate the poor canines (they already have to endure the stupid voices i use to "talk for them")...but, if i ever get the hankering to make my doofus dogs wear one of these, please. shoot. me.

wizzonit

of course there is nothing wrong with wanting to get rid of that pesky hair. being part italian and getting up there in years, i find myself with more and more of it with each passing day.

but, really? wizzit? that just conjures up the image of someone peeing on my upper lip. and that is just. not. sexy.